If your children are over 18, did you know that you no longer have access to their medical records, health insurance claims or other confidential information? The only way for you to have access to these important documents is if your children sign the appropriate releases allowing you access: health care proxies, HIPAA releases, even Durable Powers of Attorney.
Now, maybe your children want their privacy and no longer want you to have access to these records. However, they should still be encouraged to appoint someone to be able to act for them if they become incapacitated or in the event of an emergency. Maybe they will want to appoint an older sibling, or close friend, or maybe they will want to appoint one parent and not the other. Whatever they decide to do, remember that it is their decision and you should respect it. When you are talking to them about this, try to frame the discussion so that they realize you aren't trying to violate their privacy, but rather you are trying to ensure they have some plan in place so that if an emergency arises, someone knows what their wishes are and has the legal authority to make decisions in accordance with those wishes.
Better yet, see if they'd like to make an appointment with an attorney to discuss these matters in confidence and learn the importance of planning for everyone over the age of 18. If you or your children would like to speak with me about putting a plan into place, you can reach me at 781-749-2284.